‘Inclusion’

I’ve been thinking about what the word ‘inclusion’ means recently, mostly because I’ve always taken it for granted (much to my embarassment) that it means inclusion=equality. But I’ve been reading a book by Gina A. Oliva ‘Alone in the Mainstream: A deaf woman remembers public school’ which has really made me question what I thought of as ‘inclusion’.

She asserts that having a deaf child at a mainstream school (with support) should not be seen as ‘inclusion’ with the positive connotations this word has, but instead as ‘mainstreaming’ which is a word that seems more appropriate. Being deaf in the mainstream can be positive in some ways, but being cut off from other deaf people, not knowing that there are other people going through exactly the same thing, or being expected to be ‘oral’ despite BSL (British Sign Language) being your first language, is just something that I feel is unacceptable.

I feel that my experience is very possibly like that: although my school had a Hearing Impaired Unit where I got support from (note-taking), I did not get the support that I needed and constantly had to work twice as hard because I had to read up on things all the time. I didn’t feel “included”; I felt different, unusual, despite there being other deaf people at the same school (three in my year).

My sister and I both had similar experiences at this school: we are both very different but had similar needs - we needed to have a notetaker at all times yet we only got around 60% of the 100% support we should have had. Some classes, I had no support at all: imagine not knowing what the teacher was saying and the panic that ensued when the class started doing something and I had no idea what! I really feel that the only way that schools can provide deaf people with a good education is if they start tailoring support for individuals, if they start listening to what the deaf person is saying they need. A teacher of the deaf at the same school suggested that my sister start taking notes and being ‘more independent’. How could she have taken notes and lipread at the same time? It is virtually impossible.

She left school to do a BTEC at Chickenshed because she was so unhappy about the support she was(’nt) getting, among other reasons. I feel that my own education would have been so much more easier if I had had full time support. Or even if I was at a deaf school, like Mary Hare, which advocates Total Communication (much like Gallaudet University in the US). My sister was thinking of going there, and she went to visit, her descriptions sounded wonderful (in the assembly hall they had TVs where you could lipread the speaker, note-takers and also signers)!

I’m not really sure what the answer is. But I feel that in order for deaf people, like myself, to be able to be “included” there needs to be equal access, there needs to be the right kind of support or technology for each individual (I have long thought how wonderful it would be to have a kind of hand-held speech to text thing that means I could access anything…) and there needs to be deaf awareness.

No more ‘are you deaf or what?’ or ‘it doesn’t matter’ or ‘I’ll tell you later’. No more ‘deaf jokes’ or ignorance. BSL needs to be recognised as a complex language (it is a recognised language but is not seen as complex) and not as ’simple shapes’. The word ‘inclusion’ should mean exactly that - including people and really respecting difference, giving people the support they say they need or want. It shouldn’t mean imposing the dominant ideology of oralism on someone that really prefers BSL.

Being deaf shouldn’t mean having a ‘loss’. It should mean gaining a culture, gaining a shared experience, being visual (or appreciating the visual), gaining friends and gaining new experiences. It doesn’t mean you can’t do things that other people can’t. You can go to the theatre (with captioning), you can go to the cinema (with subtitles), you can even learn to drive (my sister passed her driving test on Monday!). It’s a whole new set of experiences and that needs to be recognised.

There needs to be the right provision and the technology *is* there - so why aren’t we seeing it? I am frequently let down by cinemas and malfunctioning subtitle equipment, lack of knowledge of how to interact with deaf people from people that should know better (over enunciating, shouting, signing if you can’t sign and so on), deaf jokes on television or just general amusement about deafness (stereotyping) and so on. It really does need to change, because deaf people are being let down by stupid mistakes and ignorance.

Gender

I’ve noticed a lot of posts recently about transgender and it has made me wonder about why transgender is seen as something that is divisive within feminism. I’ve always come to things in an inclusive way, attempting to celebrate diversity and not excluding people. Perhaps being a deaf woman has made me understand how hard it is to feel included in things, to have a voice in a world that is for hearing people. Even in the most inclusive environment, I will still feel excluded because the environment is somehow not quite up to task (for example, being with lovely friends that try to make sure I know what is being said, but yet it’s too noisy or I get tired with lipreading, etc).

I feel that even though the feminist movement is supposed to be for everybody, sometimes it can unwittingly be exclusive, whether intentionally or not. This has been a hard post to write and I wasn’t sure about posting it or not, but this is how I feel about things, however confused some of these thoughts might be.

Something I find very difficult is trying to be not just woman, but a person. Yes, I am female, but I want an end to gender stratification. I want an end to assumptions people make about you because you are, or appear, female. I define as a woman, yet I am much more than JUST woman. And what does woman mean, outside gender, outside all these constructions around the term? Does it mean the ability to menstruate, to give birth, or does it mean someone with the ‘body’ of a woman? Because many women do not menstruate (indeed, women do not menstruate throughout their whole lives with the menopause), have the ability to give birth or have traditionally ‘female’ bodies. We define being male or female in language that was imposed upon us by a society where terms are determined in gendered language. Like Simone de Beauvoir said, we are not born, but become women (and men).

Transgender and Transsexuality shows up gender for what it is - a construct. I find this quite interesting and cannot see where feminism has an issue with gender bending. We all have aspects of us that society classifies as “masculine” or “feminine” - both men and women. I can see why some aspects may seem problematic, such as feeling that you are somehow the wrong ‘gender’ which is different to feeling you are the wrong ’sex’.

For me, gender is and has always been a construct and I do not feel that it is innate at all - it is learned and has changed over time (or remained the same..). We live in a society that forces labels on people, that labels us from birth. It then forces us to take on traits of those particular labels, according to what is accepted at the time.

In my other post, I said that the tactics that transgender individuals used in the RTN north march made the march into something that it wasn’t. It was a march to end violence against women, and to certain people became a ‘women born women’ only march, even though RTN organisers said that all were welcome (hey, even men were allowed to march in the mixed march!). It seems to me that somehow, somewhere, people may have their wires crossed. RTN London, for example, allows women and transgendered individuals who identify as women on the march. Because it is a march to end violence against WOMEN.

There is no silencing of transgendered people on these marches, there is no particular exclusion of transgendered male to female individuals. The people that use particular tactics to hijack marches and make it about something else completely - those people should not be doing this. Marches to end violence against women are not the place to champion for transgender rights, even though their voices are important.

For me, it is not about whether I ‘ally’ with feminists OR transgendered people. It is more a case of letting individuals define themselves according to what they feel and understand. If somebody feels they are trapped in the wrong kind of body, that is the way that they feel. If someone defines themselves as a female and as a woman, then let them define themselves that way (NOT as cisgendered).

Transphobia means somehow disliking transgendered people or somehow thinking them ‘wrong’ or ‘deluded’, it is physically or verbally abusing them. It is discrimination and exclusion of transgendered people. However, I can understand both sides of the argument, and feel there needs to be some communication about these problems. Most feminists do not have ‘transphobia’, as far as I can tell. They are just angry at the hijacking of women only space for purposes other than women centred activism. To deny that women are discriminated against is to deny that there needs to be feminism. To say that ‘woman’ doesn’t exist is to take away the reason that many trans people change their sex or gender in the first place (because they don’t feel male/man or they don’t feel female/woman).

I can also see a real need for women-only space BUT also think that trangendered male to female identified people should be made to feel welcome in these spaces if they identify as woman. I know there is much discussion of being born with male privilege, but feel that trans mtf people may have felt female their whole lives (from a young age), may have experienced discrimination because of it, and may have experienced a period of time where they are treated as women, with all the discrimination and sexism that comes with this. I know that some people do not agree, or will agree, or some that don’t really know what they think about this. But this is just my humble opinion. I think that transgendered/transsexual people should have the right to articulate their experiences just as women born women/female people do.

Being a deaf woman means that I am excluded from much of what happens within the feminist movement. At marches, it is really hard to keep up with chanting because the chants change so often - I have to constantly lipread people around me (not easy when trying to avoid bumping into people or tripping up). Rallies are difficult without notetakers or lipspeakers - I do know some sign language but not enough to be able to follow a signer all the time. Leafleting is hard because when people ask questions, I cannot always lipread them. And yet I am still a feminist because I am angry about how I am treated as a woman and as a deaf person by society.

I consider myself a radical feminist in that I think there needs to be examination of the roots of patriarchy. That spiral that goes down and down where you suddenly find the root of all this and go ‘aha - there you are!’ and see how society is completely gendered. You pull things up and examine the roots, the meanings and the whys and wherefores, the subtle intonations. You start to notice things are somehow wrong that you didn’t think were particularly wrong before. I think that ‘radical’ has somehow been conceptualised as separatist, which is different (although not mutually exclusive - sometimes rad fems become separatists). Even if I have felt before that other people do not consider me radical ‘enough’ to define as such.

I see no problem aligning myself with radical feminist thought. It doesn’t mean that I won’t and can’t criticise some of it though - its all relevant but if we didn’t criticise there would be no point and we would all agree with each other about everything…which would be a bit boring! I feel that diversity is a good thing, particularly as I have been brought up to believe that diversity, inclusion and difference is a good and positive thing.

I hope that this at least makes some sense despite my confusion. I haven’t personally experienced the situations that some people have been experiencing, but I am trying to make some sense of it. If I’ve got anything wrong, then please don’t be afraid to comment.

It’s cold outside, and there’s no kind of atmosphere..

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, mostly because there’s been such a lot going on! There’s been a lot of thinking about my dissertation, the research proposal and how I’m going to do the research and so on. There’s a lot to do there, and I’m not really sure about some of it myself as I’m still thinking about it and trying to refine it a bit. It’s the spring holiday now so there’s five weeks of..nothing…yeah right. I’ve got four things to do over the holiday but hopefully they won’t be as difficult as last year. I’ve got an essay about cosmetic surgery and one about women’s magazines. Also the research proposal and a blog journal about my development as a researcher over the term.

I didn’t make it to Million Women Rise as I got ill with lack of sleep and flu (or whatever it was). But all the pictures and videos look like so much fun. I will be trying to get there next year. Reclaim the Night North also looked like fun! It’s just so good to know that there are so many feminists out there getting into activism and joining together to demand an end to violence against women.

I’m just very cross that the UK media seem so intent on ignoring these fabulous events because the pictures look amazing, and the message is so powerful. It actually seems very ridiculous because MWR was a HUGE march with 4000+ women and a rally in Trafalgar square - very central! It is starting to make me wonder if the media is ignoring us for a reason, because they still want to make themselves and everyone else believe that feminism is dead when it certainly isn’t.

So many women of many different ages all marching together just proves that it still matters, it is relevant, and has always been relevant. Women only space is important, women can work together, and sisterhood still is powerful (even with the slight disruption that happened). We all matter, perhaps even if we don’t all agree with each other.

I feel that what happened at MWR was awful because it proves that some people (whether they are calling themselves feminists or are women) will use violent tactics to get their voices heard or to drown out others. No doubt some men will hear about this and think “there - women don’t get on, they can’t get on!” but I would beg to differ, seeing all those women marching together, and my experiences with feminists and women working together on things. I just really do not think that violence against women (by women) on peaceful marches will help sex workers rights. We all want to make the world a better place for women, but I don’t think that hijacking events for women - of all things! - will help at all.

The same would go for RTN North with trans-activists somehow thinking that RTN is a space to get THEIR voices heard as transpeople. There is a time and a place for trans-marches, and I am definitely not against trans people but I really think that the tactics used - hijacking marches to end violence against women - is an actual act of violence against women because it doesn’t allow WOMEN’S voices to be heard on a march for them. But I am hoping that this group is a minority, and isn’t speaking for all (and I hope that other trans-people condemn their actions).  

I’ve been having marathon Buffy DVD marathons recently and really feel that Buffy is a fantastic feminist icon (I know..some may beg to differ!)! Even more than than that, I think I may be becoming addicted to fantasy and science fiction films and books - particularly the kind that portray strong women. Last year I discovered the ‘Women of the Otherworld’ series by Kelley Armstrong (link in my sci fi and fantasy links on the left), and also Trudi Canavan who has written the Black Magician Trilogy and Age of the Five trilogy. I also love Anne Rice but her books are not so much about strong women, just vampire fests!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fascination with the supernatural, watching the X-Files and Buffy, reading books like the Nightworld series and so on. It seems I keep going deeper in my search for books that portray women strongly, and probably will continue to do so until there are no more books for me to read! I think my sister is catching the bug because she’s been reading this trilogy that I have been reading by Stephenie Meyer (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse). I have yet to read the last book though - but it’s all quite addictive. Perhaps it’s the suggestion of another world parallel to ours, or the suggestion of something ‘other’ out there that makes it all so fascinating.

Happy Easter/New Spring! Easter for me isn’t particularly “religious” even though it is a religious thing. It signifies re-growth, re-birth and a new spring for me, more than anything else, with the popping up of daffodils everywhere and the feeling of freshness in the air. However, it snowed today in York…odd.

Lads Mags

I wrote an essay last term about sexuality and lads magazines and how they warp male and female sexuality, present women as objects, and present male sexuality as something that is the most important thing in the world. Apparently I will go and get the marks for last terms work tomorrow (fingers crossed, my first assignment as a women’s studies student, erk)!

So I thought I would actually post the essay here on my blog, because I think much of the points that I brought up are relevant. Although, I missed out much of the problems surrounding lads mags as my essay is a discussion of the problems arising from their ‘representations’ of men’s and women’s sexuality.

Ever the perfectionist, looking back on it now I feel that there is so much I could have added to it, but I had to keep chopping and changing in order to stick to the word limit. I had to buy - the horror! - four lads mags in order to find out what was REALLY going on in them, and it just made me even angrier. It was also quite depressing as I felt that the type of sexuality presented in these magazines are so narrowminded and have very little room for women to be sexually satisfied or to find their own personal sexuality that hasn’t got anything to do with what their partner expects from them (there were a lot of references to how to ‘get’ their wives or girlfriends to do something - from porn films or whatever). Something to consider for researchers in the future is to find out how these magazines actually influence men’s perception of sexuality and masculinity.

It was quite a bizarre experience to read the magazines and see all these pictures of naked/half naked models all throughout the magazine. There were NO dressed women. There were many pictures of dressed men. I found this staggering because although I knew what to expect, it is still very difficult to actually see this in front of you. After a while of going through the magazines and trying to analyse them, I started to sort of become “immune” to the images, if that makes any sense? It became almost a normal thing to see women in submissive or sexual poses wearing next to nothing. I wonder what this does to someone if they are consuming these images everyday and come to see it as ‘normal’. Do lads mags and porn make men think its normal that women pose like that, look like that (airbrushed, quite skinny or extreme curviness with no ounce of fat) or should be like that (always sexually ‘up for it’).

The sexuality in the magazines was so underdeveloped, involved very little respect and lots of words like ’shagging’, ‘getting a bit’ and so on. Do these concepts carry on into relationships? Do young men really think that they have to ‘do’ things to their girlfriends rather than having a mutual experience?

The link to my essay is here if you want to read it: be warned, some of the language may be triggering as I have included quotes from the magazines.

Women Only Space, Surviving Valentine’s Day and Feminist Debates…

So, it turns out that York University’s Women’s Committee is no longer Women-only. I was quite astounded (and then not) at the result, but I think the positive thing to come out of it was that it seems there are more feminists or feminist supporters on campus than previously thought - 361 of them in fact. This includes all those from the Centre for Women’s Studies (which is quite a small department) that voted and then some…whoever they are. It’s quite encouraging really - we are in the minority but we making a difference.

I’m quite concerned that this motion may set a precedent for Women’s Committees around the UK. I know that the Women’s Officer means well, but I think the motion was partly because of her political motivations (she is stepping down at the next elections, I think) and wanting to be remembered, and because she personally seems to feel more comfortable in the company of men. However, if her motion stops any woman from coming to women’s committee because they don’t want to talk about campaigns around rape, sexual violence, fgm, menstruation and other sensitive subjects - perhaps because of their experiences with these - because there will be men present, then I think her motion will be extremely detrimental to the YUSU women’s campaign. Sheffield’s Women’s Officer post and Women’s Committee are also under attack (as they want to discard equality officers and make it into one banner post).

I feel a loss of respect for Women’s Committee at York for not standing firm in the conviction that women only space is a positive thing. For me, Women Only space fosters mutual understanding between women, creativity between women, and a chance for women to find their voices politically about issues that they may previously not have had the chance to speak about with other women, or about things they know about but have felt unable to voice. Yes, this can be done with men present, but many women do not feel comfortable in the presence of men (unlike the YUSU Women’s Officer). It can also be for religious reasons (as some religions and cultures may not allow frank discussion of sensitive issues between men and women?), as emerged in the debates surrounding the issue. I also think that fostering understanding and discussion between women puts an end to the idea that women are supposedly naturally ‘bitchy’ and ‘judgemental’ and that they can work together to create campaigns.

The Women’s Officer’s campaign ‘Because it doesn’t matter what’s in your pants: Vote for openess’ seems to me to miss the point - no, it doesn’t matter what’s in your pants, but unfortunately, society doesn’t see it that way at the moment. Traditional masculine and feminine characteristics are still put upon men and women, girls and boys; categorisation as male and female still has negative cultural and social (and medical) effects on men and women (or whatever else you choose to call yourself - intersex individuals, transsexual etc).

I have repeatedly been called sexist this week because I have tried to debate with someone about the issue of women only space. They eventually conceded that women only space can be positive but still thought it exclusionary to “ban” men from Women’s Committee. Perhaps my comments were heated as I got quite angry in the process of trying to explain some of the issues surrounding women only space, but I felt under attack and defensive.

It’s not really the first time I’ve felt as though I’ve had to defend my viewpoints and felt as though I was pointing out the OBVIOUS - that male violence is prevalent, that rapists are not actually blamed for rape but the victim is (eg. she provoked me, she was wearing a short skirt, she was drunk, etc), that culture doesn’t see feminism as a postive thing (the backlash), and so on. I know that lots of people feel like they are slamming against a brick wall, but it felt so PERSONAL to be called sexist, so demoralising, even though it’s not the worst thing I’ve been called (MRA’s are notoriously foul mouthed, yuk). It seems that because they felt I was generalising and saying ‘all’ men do this blah blah - which I wasn’t - I was being sexist. It seems laughable to call a feminist sexist.

This year has been a case of hiding from Valentine’s Day in my room at Uni as both my partner and I have a distinct lack of money. I’m kind of fed up with Valentine’s Day and have decided to rename it national-make-people-feel-guilty-because-they-have-no-money-day. It’s also extra depressing when you’re not with your partner and can’t just have a night in or go for a nice walk or something. It’s just a commercial holiday in order to make people who are single feel bad, and people who have no money for “presents” feel really bad. If you have a good relationship, it shouldn’t have to involve buying chocolates (cliched and not everyone likes chocolate anyway) or roses (extra cliched, as not everyone likes roses and they’re not very personal anyway) and most of the stuff sold as valentines day presents are very gendered indeed. I would find it much more impressive to just go out and celebrate the impending death of capitalism…if it ever happens Great post re. Valentines Day here.

Also, I would like to reassure people that I do indeed read your blogs when I get the time, but things are so busy at the moment. I have been thinking about a great many things that people have been blogging about and they are real food for thought. I read Laura’s post on the F-Word with interest about that contentious topic within feminist discourse regarding whether all heterosexual sex is rape (for a good discussion on heterosexual relations and power, I would direct you to Andrea Dworkin’s ‘Intercourse’) here. Debs at the Burning Times wrote a post on which there has been interesting comments and further clarification of the debate here.

As for myself, I don’t necessarily think that ALL heterosexual sex is rape. However, I am still thinking on this particular strand of feminist thought, and the debates above are far more interesting than anything I could say on the matter. It is quite alarming to hear someone say that “all heterosexual sex is rape” as it could be construed as a denial of women’s agency in heterosexual relations: when I first heard of the idea, I personally felt that it did exactly this, as I have not experienced sexual relations without consent or without my own desire involved; however I think I am privileged in this respect (as I have a very egalitarian relationship with a very lovely man). We tend to think of rape as force, as lack of consent, as exercise of unwanted sexual activity on someone’s body. But there are more subtle intonations as the above debate implies, that I have not thought of previously.

I have also decided on a dissertation topic for my MA: I am going to focus on deaf women and their experiences of achievement. I am not quite sure about the specificities of this topic yet but it should prove interesting and personally rewarding (and inspiring for me). I have found some very interesting literature by reading an article called ‘Feminist Disability Studies’ by Rosemarie Garland Thomson (in Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 2005 vol 30, no. 2) which presents an overview of feminist disability studies and has also provided me with further literature about deaf people and how gender and disability intersect within feminism. I was unsure about how feminism and disability intersect together, but it has become clearer to me that both disability studies and feminism have a rewarding partnership:

“Feminist disability studies wants to unsettle tired stereotypes about people with disabilities. It seeks to challenge our dominant assumptions about living with a disability. It situates the disability experience in the context of rights and exclusions. It aspires to retrieve dismissed voices and misrepresented experiences. It helps us understand the intricate relation between bodies and selves. It illuminates the social processes of identity formation. It aims to denaturalise disability. In short, feminist disability studies reimagines disability.” (Garland Thomson, 2005: 1557)

p.s. That picture is me and my sis off to our first reclaim the night (pretending to be ninjas) in 2006. I’m the one on the left.

Brand New Shiny Books

Today, I received some lovely shiny new feminist books in the post…and also a lovely (shh, free) book from my women’s studies supervisor (as she is one of the authors). Ahem, just wanted to rejoice in the buying of lovely shiny books

The Whole Woman (Germaine Greer)

The Female Eunuch (Germaine Greer)

The Feminist Seventies (Graham, Kaloski, Neilson, Robertson)

Womansize: The Tyranny of Slenderness (Kim Chernin)

RiotGrrrl: Revolution Girl Style Now! (Black Dog Publishing)

I say ‘reading’ but I probably won’t get them finished until many years later….

New Term, New Thoughts

Its been a difficult few weeks - I had three assessment assignments to hand in for 14th January so I was working like mad the week before in order to get them done. I did an essay on Lads Mags for feminism and sexuality, and I re-drafted the ‘what is a woman’ essay. I also had to do a portfolio of work for the methodology module. Needless to say, I am very relieved to have handed them in but am now a bit worried about the marking, although I’m sure it won’t be all that bad…

Apart from that, I have been thinking about a great many things which will probably not all get covered in this post. One of the things I have been thinking about is the inaccessibility of some feminist spaces for a deaf woman. In particular, I am a bit cross at the F-Word for doing audio recordings, which sound really interesting but which I am excluded from. I’m sorry, but part of the reason I use the internet is because it is meant to be fairly accessible, with a wealth of textual and visual information. It has made me think again how people just don’t THINK about the fact that some people just won’t be able to HEAR something. Visual aids are there for people that need them, and there are also text to speech programmes for the blind..and blind people will be able to hear the audio media on the F-Word. *Edit: I think I came on a bit strong here (I was rather frustrated!) as I admit the F-Word is more inclusive than many other places on the web. And I think blind people will have their own problems and audio media is a good way to include people who can’t see so well also. I still think that providing transcripts is a good thing and I’m glad the F-Word is sorting that out for deaf readers!

I went to Women’s Committee tonight (the York Uni YUSU women’s committee) in order to become more active in campus women’s campaigns etc. I knew I would have difficulties in hearing things, as I expected, especially since I was really tired (I had four hours sleep and got up at 8am for a 10.15am seminar, then waited around for a film screening at 4.15 then went to committee at 6.30pm) and I’m obviously not familar with anyone apart from my two women’s studies friends who are part of the committee. Anyway, it went kind of badly for two reasons. One, I couldn’t really lipread anyone, no matter how hard I tried (I think mostly due to tiredness but also because it’s not one to one which seems to work better for me) and two, the women’s committee officer put forward a motion to allow MEN into the WOMEN’S committee.

Now, obviously this is a awkward issue for many budding feminists, and I agree that there are many great pro-feminist men out there that really prove that feminism is for everyone’s benefit, and I’m not saying that if men want to HELP with campaigns and stuff that they should be excluded; but the problem is that women-only spaces where women talk about politics and important issues are few and far between and I think it’s so important to preserve these. It is so hard to talk women’s politics and issues when many men take over conversations, or think that they know what it’s like to really feel oppressed by the fact we live in a patriarchal society, where men’s opinions and politics are favoured over women’s.

The reason that men don’t necessarily need a men’s committee is that society already views their causes as the most important. And like one of my friends has said, it is so hard having to justify and fight for recognition and understanding of a feminist viewpoint like this and I want her to know that she’s not the only one that feels like she has to constantly defend her views.

I keep coming across viewpoints along the lines of ‘those nasty feminists, they want women only spaces, they must be man-haters!!’. That is the problem with this whole idea: women’s committee seems afraid to take those so called ‘controversial’ risks and being radical and clear about what they need to do to make the University and the world a better place for women and women students. Skirting around issues by diluting them and making them ‘palatable’ doesn’t really achieve anything. I refuse to see how, for example, putting up a poster telling women what to do to avoid rape (put your hair up or under your coat, don’t ‘provoke’ rapists etc), rather than putting up a poster saying ‘hold rapists responsible for rape’, will actually achieve anything in the long term.

It’s kind of late so I just wanted to say Happy New Year (very belatedly) and I hope everyone had a good holiday..even though it’s kind of late to say that now!!

Thoughts on the Make Up thingy…

So I’m going back to that sticky issue within Feminism - The Beauty Myth.

For me, make-up has always been a way to express myself, my moods, my personality, or aspects of it. I find that taking a few minutes out of a day to put on some bright eyeshadow, black eyeliner or a bright eyeliner really makes a difference to my mood - not to say that I don’t feel good without make up! More to say that if I’m feeling especially crap on a dreary, cold day, something colourful really cheers me up.

More recently, for me, I have been pondering what my make-up consumption is doing to the environment, animals and what these chemicals are doing to my body, perhaps. I have always tried to find make-up that isn’t tested on animals (urban decay are great, plus they have fantastic eyeshadows and bright eyeliners), but I have been becoming more and more aware of the fact that some brands I have previously used test on animals. Benefit and Philosophy being a case in fact.

Lovely packaging, nice to use, but very unethical. It is beginning to make me squirm with discomfort because I have always been a make-up, shower gel, body lotion, perfume consuming beauty junkie - and no, not because I read magazines…I swore off those nearly a year and 11 months ago (woop woop..and I feel more body positive because of it!). I adore animals, even those that are rather yucky (erm..tarantulas, anyone?), or dangerous (humans, naturally). I am fully aware that the things I use are not extremely good for me either. I have, on occasions, gone to sleep with a full face of make-up because I couldn’t be bothered to take the gunk off.

But I have sworn off most other body stuff brands and am now using Lush for my facial, body lotion, shower and bath needs. It is only the make-up that seems to be a problem now, really.

In the context of feminism, I have thought long and hard about why I love clothes and make-up so. I’m not extremely silly and wouldn’t call expressing myself with make-up and clothes as ‘liberating’ because it isn’t! But it is only one way that I, and some other women, express themselves. Women are multi-layered individuals, and have their own complex (or quite simple as ‘I likes it!’) reasons for doing things, or not doing things. I have a slight fetish for polka dots and mary jane shoes, and wear a lot of black empire line “smock tops”. Tis fun but not the meaning of life

I do think that certain beauty practices can be to the detriment of women. When I read women’s magazines, I felt deeply unhappy about my body, about the way I looked, and compared myself all the time to other women, on the streets, in magazines and so on. I think it’s one aspect of a culture that pushes women to be extremely self critical and outwardly critical with other women.

I have slowly but surely began to feel liberated from that constant self criticism and women criticism. I used to complain to my friends “my thighs are so wobbly!” or some other such criticism. I think self love is so important. And I think it is possible, even in this society that values youth, beauty, a certain sort of body shape/size above anything else, to find some peace within yourself.

Things I have been thinking about is size acceptance - thin or fat, large or small, in between, straight, curvy, whatever - never ever assume something because of the way somebody looks. Because someone is large, doesn’t mean they ‘do’ anything in particular (I am thinking here of something along the lines of eating lots of junk food, for example). I am a large woman, but as people may know from me mentioning this before, I have an extremely slow metabolism and Polycystic ovarian syndrome. I am not particularly unhealthy in my eating habits, I try to eat as much fruit and veg, fresh food as possible, and although I love chocolate, I try not to eat it too often. But that is besides the point really. I shouldn’t have to “justify” my body to anyone. No Woman should.

And I feel that Feminism is one way to, or should be one way to, feel better about your body, to accept yourself, to know that all women are different and shouldn’t be made to feel as though they are lacking in some way because they don’t fit society’s distorted perceptions of what a woman should look like (because we are either too thin, too big, not curvy enough, too curvy, too tall, too short etc etc). Whether you like fashion or not, whether you wear make-up or not, we all have something to say.

I will come back to all this when things are more clear in my head! I’ve finished term for this year, so tis nearly xmas for me despite the massive pile of reading I have to do for my essays…My lovely mother is coming to pick me up from York and take me home - tonight and tomorrow, yay. But first, I must do the packing. Oh yes.

I am feeling okay at the moment, but it is still very sad. The funeral went very well, we had a short service for just small family the evening before, which was a chance to say goodbye to my uncle. He will be very much missed by everyone and especially by my cousins, who he loved very very much. It will be a difficult Christmas but I am sure we will look after each other. Thanks for all the kind wishes from everyone. xxx

Bad News

I didn’t want to put this in the other post, but I got some very sad news from my Mum on Monday. My uncle, who I hadn’t seen for quite a long time, has died suddenly. I feel really bad for my cousins, who are so young and could have had so much time left with their Dad, and my aunt, who had so many good years with him and knew him for a long time (they had divorced about a year ago I think).

The funeral is next Wednesday so I will be missing seminars, although my tutors and supervisor will help me catch up. Its very hard to know what to do in such a sad and awful situation. It doesn’t feel real, but I know I will feel absolutely terrible when I see my family tomorrow, as I am going home.

Originally it was for my birthday (on Sunday) but I feel too sad to celebrate at the moment, even though we may have a small meal or something with my parents, sis, her boyfriend and my boyfriend. It just makes me feel helpless, and I know all I can do is just be there for my cousins and my aunt.

Reclaim the Night 2007

What can I say? It was a fantastic feeling to be marching with so many loud, angry and determined women, protesting against violence against women everywhere.

We didn’t take many pictures unfortunately, and the ones that we did take are on my sister’s phone, so I will have to sort that out at some point. We did much more shouting/chanting this year - mostly because my sis and I tried to lipread everyone around us in order to keep going! I had a nasty sore throat the next day but it was worth it

One of the best things for me were the reactions of the people watching the march - some people raising their fists and smiling, getting excited or whatever. Some people yelling in agreement or taking photos. We didn’t get those stupid men outside a pub yelling obscenities at us this year! Although that does serve to illustrate our point, I suppose.

Witchy and Debs, among others, have posted more than I have, but I have to say that I think I agree with Debs in some ways - it did make me feel that not enough was being done. As I said, one of the high points was seeing bystanders so encouraging - because I want other people to understand the significance of what we were doing. More needs to be done, more people, both men and women, need to change the way they think about these things.

We do, as Kat Stark and Deb have said, need Feminists in power in order to initiate change and make the world a better place. The men in power can’t do this for us, they very rarely do things solely for women, maybe a little amendment here or there, but nothing major. The little things that we do - covering lads magazines, going on marches, and so on, are great; but something bigger needs to happen if we are to see any huge change for women. As Finn Fox said, we need to TAKE BACK our rights.

Another thing that really bothered me at the rally was that there were quite a few deaf people there this time, besides me and my sister. I was sitting on the edge of the hall, against the wall, and there was a group of deaf women in the middle, who said that they needed help to understand what was being said. Someone went and interpreted with sign language for them. However, I can very rarely understand complete BSL sign-language, unless accompanied with english lip-speaking.

So my Mum had to lip-speak for me and my sister, again, like last year. I know it’s harsh, but women who are blind, in a wheelchair and so on can still hear. My Mum got upset because she couldn’t tell us everything and it all sounded really good. I appreciate that it must be expensive to provide interpreters, lip-speakers and so on, at a rally, where things are no doubt spontaneous, but it was very hard. And it may ruin my Mum’s enjoyment of just listening to the rally.

We didn’t stay for the stalls or the music as everyone was rather hungry at this point! But it was so good to see everyone, Michelle, Witchy with her hat (even though I wasn’t sure if it was you, I had an inkling!), everyone else. I know I didn’t get to say hi to everyone but I hope you all had a good time